random 1-100
first let me explain what is wrong with shifu's post
1. If you are a girl, say that "I'm so bored that I feel like crying. Pleez go out with me"
This is wrong. Firstly, no girl will deign to talk to me, so that rules this out.
2. If you are a boy, say "Eh, very long nv play pool liao. lets go shoot some balls"
This is also wrong, because if you want me to go out with you you better not call playing pool shooting balls. What, are you a basketballer?? You shoot hoops?? Or in pool's case, shoot pockets??
3. If you are none of the above, PLEEZ, don't let him know until he is out with you.
This is correct.
4. Well, if you are simply such an introvert that you have never asked Randy for his number, leave a tag and I will get back to you shortly. And as you can see, given my height, the shortly is rather short. :) <--- omg smiley
94353835, my new handphone number
5. Act FAST. While stocks last! <-- wow i rhyme.
I am actually more or less fully booked already, but good luck anyway! But if you are a good-looking, humourous girl willing to be my slave for life, I will definitely make time for you.
What kind of asshole are you?
Believe it or not, every single person you know is a fucking asshole, some in more obvious ways than others. The term 'asshole' isn't the typical term that I randomly sprout throughout this site, but of a more specific kind. These 'assholes' may not be the kind you'd hope your parents will never see you hanging out with, they're also not the kinds that will influence you negatively. The only common trait both classes off assholes share is that you want to fucking beat their stupid brains out. So which one are you?
1. The relationship asshole
Everyone knows a few of these bastards. These are the ones who go through thick and thin with you, the ones you share your secrets with, the ones who tell you to fuck off once their dicks get lucky. These assholes are personified by their forever filled schedule. Under no circumstance (unless their other half dies from herpes, but still..) are these morons free to hang out. Having them take initiative to plan some outing is more painful than getting butt fucked. Their entire fucking lives revolve around their other halves. They eat, sleep, shit, cut hair, go shopping, watch movies, go for classes, masturbate, get raped, fall sick, contract AIDs together. To these assholes, everything else is non existent. Every single aspect of their lives involves their other half and ONLY their other half. Everything else can go to hell.
2. The work asshole
The majority of the people you know fall into this category. Work assholes are found almost everywhere outside of ACJC. This breed of queers separate their lives into 2 very different categories: normal and holiday. During holidays (i.e no stress periods) these assholes dig up their lives and live with it for the duration of the holiday. They go out, party, get fucked and all other sorts of shit and basically enjoy themselves. However, once its the 'normal' (i.e stress) periods, they suddenly drop their lives and lock themselves up in their buttholes and fret over the future. Nothing on earth will convince them to leave their buttholes and do something relaxing. Relaxing to them means not looking at their notes while breathing. Also, during the 'normal' periods, you will totally not exist to these assholes. They have no idea whether you're dead or alive, and ignore all attempts you try and make contact with them. Their only friends are their notes, and other work related assholes.
3. The cheebye asshole
This is the asshole everyone aspires to be. They are characterized by their couldn't care less attitude. Life to these assholes is one big playground. They take everything easy and belittle everything, cussing at other types of assholes. Basically the total opposite of the work asshole in 'normal' mode, the only difference being the cheebye assholes have everything going their way. They don't work hard but produce results. They spend money that drops from the sky. They succeed in life by picking their noses during meetings and interviews. Typically, the cheebye asshole pisses everyone off that is unfortunate enough to cross his path, usually due to jealousy, contempt and unfairness. Fuck yourself in the butt if you're this kind of asshole.
4. The wayang asshole
Also known colloquailly as the 'crazy fuck', wayang assholes are those with the Wall Street Journal under their arms instead of the latest issue of Playboy. Everything that comes out of their mouths are beyond their peer's comprehension. They can be spotted in a group as the one who speaks like a fucking banana, except they've been brought up locally all their lives. They try to act older than they actually are, which explains the 'crazy fuck' looks they receive from anyone around their age. Their ideal future jobs are usually investment bankers, stockbrokers, risk analysts and any other jobs which requires more than 2 minutes of thought, though most usually end up as cash tellers in banks. The most harmless kind of asshole of the bunch who usually doesn't get on people's nerves.
5. The sensitive asshole
Sensitive assholes get their names for their probing behavior. They like to get involved in everyone's business and give their half cent's worth. Typically personified by their self righteous nature, most would tell these assholes to fuck off upon 2 mintues of conversing with them. Sensitive assholes like to think that they're a team player and that their input is appreciated. They rank high on the initiative scale because every single detail is combed through by them. If someone's twice removed cousin's pet hamster died, the sensitive asshole would be the first to offer his condolences and 'better' methods of hamster rearing. Good to have around if you're the kind who likes to spread rumours and watching the sensitive asshole go into a frenzy of excitement.
6. The fucking asshole
These species of assholes were the ones who created the vulgar term 'asshole', and are the absolute worst of the lot. Fucking assholes are known for their selfishness and backstabbing capabilities. They will say anything and everything to keep themselves in the clear, even if it means getting everyone else into shit. Such bastards only befriends those who are beneficial to them, and treat everyone else as non existant dregs of turd. They spent the majority of their time fucking tree monkeys, claim that the tree monkeys are 'hot babes' and have no qualms about boasting about it, though nobody usually listens because everyone steers clear of the fucking asshole. Fortunately to my knowledge, the fucking asshole is one of the rarer kinds of assholes you'll find. The majority of people you know fall mainly into the first 5 categories.
So, which asshole are you?
1. If you are a girl, say that "I'm so bored that I feel like crying. Pleez go out with me"
This is wrong. Firstly, no girl will deign to talk to me, so that rules this out.
2. If you are a boy, say "Eh, very long nv play pool liao. lets go shoot some balls"
This is also wrong, because if you want me to go out with you you better not call playing pool shooting balls. What, are you a basketballer?? You shoot hoops?? Or in pool's case, shoot pockets??
3. If you are none of the above, PLEEZ, don't let him know until he is out with you.
This is correct.
4. Well, if you are simply such an introvert that you have never asked Randy for his number, leave a tag and I will get back to you shortly. And as you can see, given my height, the shortly is rather short. :) <--- omg smiley
94353835, my new handphone number
5. Act FAST. While stocks last! <-- wow i rhyme.
I am actually more or less fully booked already, but good luck anyway! But if you are a good-looking, humourous girl willing to be my slave for life, I will definitely make time for you.
What kind of asshole are you?
Believe it or not, every single person you know is a fucking asshole, some in more obvious ways than others. The term 'asshole' isn't the typical term that I randomly sprout throughout this site, but of a more specific kind. These 'assholes' may not be the kind you'd hope your parents will never see you hanging out with, they're also not the kinds that will influence you negatively. The only common trait both classes off assholes share is that you want to fucking beat their stupid brains out. So which one are you?
1. The relationship asshole
Everyone knows a few of these bastards. These are the ones who go through thick and thin with you, the ones you share your secrets with, the ones who tell you to fuck off once their dicks get lucky. These assholes are personified by their forever filled schedule. Under no circumstance (unless their other half dies from herpes, but still..) are these morons free to hang out. Having them take initiative to plan some outing is more painful than getting butt fucked. Their entire fucking lives revolve around their other halves. They eat, sleep, shit, cut hair, go shopping, watch movies, go for classes, masturbate, get raped, fall sick, contract AIDs together. To these assholes, everything else is non existent. Every single aspect of their lives involves their other half and ONLY their other half. Everything else can go to hell.
2. The work asshole
The majority of the people you know fall into this category. Work assholes are found almost everywhere outside of ACJC. This breed of queers separate their lives into 2 very different categories: normal and holiday. During holidays (i.e no stress periods) these assholes dig up their lives and live with it for the duration of the holiday. They go out, party, get fucked and all other sorts of shit and basically enjoy themselves. However, once its the 'normal' (i.e stress) periods, they suddenly drop their lives and lock themselves up in their buttholes and fret over the future. Nothing on earth will convince them to leave their buttholes and do something relaxing. Relaxing to them means not looking at their notes while breathing. Also, during the 'normal' periods, you will totally not exist to these assholes. They have no idea whether you're dead or alive, and ignore all attempts you try and make contact with them. Their only friends are their notes, and other work related assholes.
3. The cheebye asshole
This is the asshole everyone aspires to be. They are characterized by their couldn't care less attitude. Life to these assholes is one big playground. They take everything easy and belittle everything, cussing at other types of assholes. Basically the total opposite of the work asshole in 'normal' mode, the only difference being the cheebye assholes have everything going their way. They don't work hard but produce results. They spend money that drops from the sky. They succeed in life by picking their noses during meetings and interviews. Typically, the cheebye asshole pisses everyone off that is unfortunate enough to cross his path, usually due to jealousy, contempt and unfairness. Fuck yourself in the butt if you're this kind of asshole.
4. The wayang asshole
Also known colloquailly as the 'crazy fuck', wayang assholes are those with the Wall Street Journal under their arms instead of the latest issue of Playboy. Everything that comes out of their mouths are beyond their peer's comprehension. They can be spotted in a group as the one who speaks like a fucking banana, except they've been brought up locally all their lives. They try to act older than they actually are, which explains the 'crazy fuck' looks they receive from anyone around their age. Their ideal future jobs are usually investment bankers, stockbrokers, risk analysts and any other jobs which requires more than 2 minutes of thought, though most usually end up as cash tellers in banks. The most harmless kind of asshole of the bunch who usually doesn't get on people's nerves.
5. The sensitive asshole
Sensitive assholes get their names for their probing behavior. They like to get involved in everyone's business and give their half cent's worth. Typically personified by their self righteous nature, most would tell these assholes to fuck off upon 2 mintues of conversing with them. Sensitive assholes like to think that they're a team player and that their input is appreciated. They rank high on the initiative scale because every single detail is combed through by them. If someone's twice removed cousin's pet hamster died, the sensitive asshole would be the first to offer his condolences and 'better' methods of hamster rearing. Good to have around if you're the kind who likes to spread rumours and watching the sensitive asshole go into a frenzy of excitement.
6. The fucking asshole
These species of assholes were the ones who created the vulgar term 'asshole', and are the absolute worst of the lot. Fucking assholes are known for their selfishness and backstabbing capabilities. They will say anything and everything to keep themselves in the clear, even if it means getting everyone else into shit. Such bastards only befriends those who are beneficial to them, and treat everyone else as non existant dregs of turd. They spent the majority of their time fucking tree monkeys, claim that the tree monkeys are 'hot babes' and have no qualms about boasting about it, though nobody usually listens because everyone steers clear of the fucking asshole. Fortunately to my knowledge, the fucking asshole is one of the rarer kinds of assholes you'll find. The majority of people you know fall mainly into the first 5 categories.
So, which asshole are you?
posted by pehpeh at 2:05 AM
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