Dont tell me your sad story

Sup folks. Here's another healthy dose of Army Lessons from your author.

Only have 2 spare hp batteries to last you for a week, but you still have to report for girlfriend duty everynight on the phone and at the same time throw insults via sms to the faggy retards that you call friends? And WHAT? ur girlfriend wont stop whining on the phone about that broken toe nail she got when she accidentally kicked the door frame hence depriving you of precious battery power?


Fret not. You have a couple of options. Tell her that she is stupid enough if she kicks the door frame and place ur hp faraway frm ur ears as she slams the phone on you, or you can do it the Army way.


gf: "My toe nail broke when i accidentally kicked the door frame today *whiny tone*"
you: "Oh dear. Dont tell me ur sad story..."

You still have to place ur hp faraway from ur ears, but at least you can blame ur commanders for imparting that phrase to you. Cheers.

Here's how we usually use it in the army.

Sgt: Why are u all late?
Soldier: Cause we need to clear our bunk's rubbish and...
Sgt: *cutting in impatiently* Dont tell me ur sad story lah. Whole lot knock it down!

I wonder, what's the point in asking us for the reason if he's not interested in the first place? Oh yes, in case you were wondering, you should just buy enough spare batteries to last you at least two weeks in camp. Or just bring a charger lah, just dont get caught or I will not listen to ur sad story dude.

Yes.

Unit life is damn slack. But that is because we havent gone to the outfield trainings yet. So, a few hours of extra sleep here and there everyday doesnt hurt does it? But of course basic discipline still applies and we're still fked when we try to smoke our way thru things.

Apart from our usual weapons training, I've been picking up alot of things about life from our commanders in camp. And my platoon mates are equally educational in their daily conversations. Here's why.

Commander (who had been enlightening us on the need to understand how our weapon works instead of memorising the facts by heart):

"The reason why it's so important for you to know, is because it's important!", all the while maintaining a matter-of-factly expression on his face. Good job!

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During a lesson on detecting faults in our weapons...

Sergeant; "What's the sequence of actions to detect faults?"

Soldier: "First, check the last 2 ejaculated rounts."

*Everyone around the table bursts into uncontrollable laughter*

The correct answer was to check the last 2 ejected rounds. Gratz to the poor soldier. I wonder what he spends his free time doing.


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Of course, our commanders also have many lessons about life to teach us, often in an indirect way. One such lesson was on the virtue of patience.

Sgt: "Wait lah! Be patient lah! Even f**k also need to take off clothes first right!??"

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With that, i end this week's post on education in the army. And head back to camp to report for guard duty. dammit. And Randy, its ok we sit inside the tanks actually. and they are not really tanks. they are Bionix. Made in singapore ok! Advice to you. dont drink too much sea water, it will give u hypertension. =D cheers.

no.

hello, i am blogging from my bunk in OCS, and for everyone who still remembers my personal blog address, im re-updating that blog too during my free time in OCS! which means you can probably expect updates something on the order of 2 times every 3 months. wonder how my dear co-author is surviving in his armor regiment. here's a tip to u shifu, if u want to continue surviving, don't run in front of a moving tank. the tank will squish u. really. and you don't respawn in 30 or 40 seconds after waiting in limbo. neither will you be revived by weird medics running around shooting their teammates in the head so they can revive them and level up.

everyone in unit right now is telling me their life is damn slack, well, i have a damn long way more to go before my life becomes slack, if it does become slack at all. i miss my friends, and i miss that special someone. you know who you are! or maybe not, because i don't think wow characters are self-aware yet. just kidding.

my sense of humour is depreciating by the day, by the end of OCS, i will be this completely serious person who won't understand humour and will only laugh when people kick kittens or something. god forbid. kittens are just so cute. it is hugz time now!